“People who are death positive believe that it is not morbid or taboo to speak openly about death. They see honest conversations about death & dying as the cornerstone of a healthy society” (Death Positive Movement, n.d.). When my dog passed away, he was euthanized at home. We were by his side, and he felt nothing but comfort in his final moments. My mom’s death is a stark contrast. She passed away in a care facility. She was suffering as cancer had spread through most of her body. When I saw her last, her breathing sounded hoarse and wet, since there was a fluid buildup inside her lungs. She didn’t know when she would die, and this always gave her tremendous anxiety. I only hope the care team was truthful in telling us that she died painlessly in her sleep, rather than drowning in that fluid buildup. A good death means there is peace, no suffering, dignified, never alone surrounded by love. Death positivity is crucial to talking about what it means to have a good death because it allows for a space of dignity. There must be options for people, not just animals, who are terminally suffering to have options. The option of a peaceful, dignified death, because my mom could have had a good death. Everyone deserves the option to have a good death.

Hospice care is what my mom entered during the remainder of her time with us when the cancer became too aggressive to fully treat and is arguably what my dog entered during his last month alive. She was prescribed painkilling medication to increase her quality of life, but not much else could be done. Often the medication was not enough to fully rid her of pain. The goal of hospice care is no longer to treat the disease, but to attempt to increase quality of life for terminally ill patients using medication and full-time care. “The ethical principles recognized universal are autonomy, beneficence, nonmaleficence, and justice” (Akdeniz et al., 2021). The principle of autonomy is crucial in this discussion. “However, this autonomy has some limitations. The decisions made by a patient should not harm him or her. It is important for healthcare providers to respect the autonomy of their patient and fulfill their duties to benefit their patients without harming them” (Akdeniz et al., 2021). Animals like my dog have no autonomy, unlike people. It is no surprise that people and animals are subject to different ethical standards, so all I am left with is confusion at this double standard. In cases of death there is not enough death positivity surrounding human death as compared to animal death.

“Sarah scoured the internet for stories from other mothers who had suffered the death of a child. She found websites made by well-meaning women, often with a very Christian overtone (e.g., “my angel has taken his place in the Lord’s arms”) and stories that offered platitudes and euphemisms. To Sarah, these feel-good pick-me-ups were nothing but empty cliches. The accounts could not capture the wrenching agony and longing that she felt” (Doughty, 2017). And so is the reason for why death positivity surrounding human death is lacking in western culture. We are all afraid of the wrenching agony and longing that Sarah felt about the death of her child. We are so afraid of human death, so afraid of safe spaces to discuss ideas that even ethical considerations cannot be innovated upon. While this fear is understandable, other cultures around the world have vastly different views on death. Perspectives where death is not something to fear, but to celebrate. Even in the case of my mom’s funeral, we called it a celebration of her life. 

The culture in places like Mexico and Indonesia contrast with the Western view on death in this way. In Mexico, Día de los Muertos is a holiday that is celebrated over two days. It is a holiday where, “…the dead are said to return to indulge in the pleasures of the living” (Doughty, 2017). The two days are filled with creative festivities as a symbolic celebration of the legacies of those lost to time and tragedy. In celebrating death, Día de los Muertos fearlessly celebrates life. Death is normalized to talk about in Mexican culture, offering much needed dignity to those no longer with us. This normalization offers peace and closure to those still with us. Sarah in the reading: From here to eternity: Traveling the world to find the good death states, “Being in Mexico, it felt like a place to lay down my grief. It was recognized. I wasn’t making other people uncomfortable. I could breathe” (Doughty 2017). Indonesian culture also contrasts with the Western view on death. In Indonesia, the bodies of the deceased are displayed before being buried in wooden coffins in burial caves high in the mountains. As the wood decomposes, the bones fall and roll off the side of the cliff. Next to the coffins are rows of tau tau, which are wooden effigies of the dead, representing the souls of the bones scattered along the cave (Doughty, 2017). Peace, dignity, and closure are the critical components of what it means to have a good death.

What is a good death? A good death is one that is dignified, surrounded by love and peace while devoid of needless suffering. A good death respects autonomy while offering consolation and closure to those who are still with us. Unfortunately, in Western culture, the collective fear of discussing death undermines these critical elements. Because the concept of death is so taboo in western culture, we miss the opportunity to shape our final moments according to our values, preferences, and beliefs. The death positive movement seeks to shift this dynamic by normalizing conversations about dying. It recognizes that, just as animals deserve a gentle release from suffering, so too do terminally ill individuals. Hospice care stands as one approach in this continuum—its emphasis on comfort rather than cure can offer a more peaceful, dignified departure. However, the principle of autonomy raises difficult questions about how best to honor someone’s wishes without causing harm.

After reading about other cultures, such as in Mexico and Indonesia, I learned how celebrations and communal engagements with death provide a sense of acceptance, closure, and resilience for the living. By acknowledging death rather than being averse to it, death goes from something to fear into a reminder of our shared humanity. Death positivity does not mean glorifying death. Death positivity is about reducing needless suffering, ensuring that when our time comes, we are met dignified, with honesty and compassion. By challenging taboos, advocating for transparent care options, and embracing practices that honor both the dying and the dead, we can move closer to a future where every individual is offered the compassion, relief from pain, and respect they deserve in their final days.

References

Akdeniz, M., Yardımcı, B., & Kavukcu, E. (2021, March 12). Ethical considerations at the end-

of-life care. SAGE open medicine. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7958189/#:~:text=There%20is%20much%20common%20ground,and%20an%20honorable%20death%20process.  

Death positive movement: The order of the good death. Death Positive Movement | The Order of 

the Good Death. (n.d.). https://www.orderofthegooddeath.com/death-positive-movement/   

Doughty, Caitlin. 2017. INDONESIA. From here to eternity: Traveling the world to find 

the good death. W.W. Norton & Co.
Doughty, Caitlin. 2017. MEXICO. From here to eternity: Traveling the world to find the good 

death. W.W. Norton & Co.